trapped by a dark chemistry

i sit around with the cat

doing mindfulness exercises 

but coloring pages can’t

relax a brain that’s taking off work

to do coloring pages

so i pace and paste on

a nicotine patch and gulp

my capsules as prescribed 

just to wake to another

frenetic sunrise crackling

in my ears like a space blanket 

full of manic panic i trace

my colored pencils over

the same page as yesterday