relax
said almighty
god – you should see the shit
i’ve done so that i could say “i’ve
done that”
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Tag Archives: #god
The Answer
You wanted to ask God
A simple question
Looking at a white hospital ceiling
While your daughter is downstairs
Getting a snack
You could not have known it
At the time, that experience
Is the language of celestials
Looking at a white hospital ceiling
You will die this way
And it will hurt, but not very long
“Give me ten minutes,”
She presses your hand
You could not have known it
At the time
The panic begins as your
Heart fails and you remember
You wanted to ask God
A simple question
Did you think you could withstand
The heartbreak that comes
With learning everything?
You wanted to ask God
A simple question
Why force us to exist?
And Her answer came
In the form
Of your entire life
the again
again the sense that i have lived
these fragile birdbone moments before –
this paper theater of déjà vu
has been dreamed and re-dreamed
like a play in rehearsal after
opening night has come and passed
(yet the last performance feels like
opening night) again the sense that
i have walked these dreamed-up
sidewalks of akihabara which run
parallel to the flesh-and-bone sidewalks
of akihabara, so fragile, like a paper theater
that has been dreamed and re-dreamed
in the mind of some forgetful god
who keeps creating the universe
without destroying the last one
again the sense that i have lived
these fragile ghost-bone moments before –
this tissue paper theater of déjà vu
has been dreamed and re-dreamed
in the mind of some uncareful god
who doesn’t quite erase all the lines
before re-illustrating little moments
the rib-bone galaxy
when god was a teenager
rowing through her sea
of self-made hormones
she wrote in her lockable
diary: i must make a universe
some time. it might be beautiful
to participate in, but i should
like to travel it as a man
this time, a little angrier,
a little narrower than i am
now. then she clasped her
journal and waited for
time to loop back around
to when she gave birth to
herself, so she could alter
her pronouns and create
a world where the sperm
came before the egg
fasting
for no god, just
savoring the holy
emptiness in my belly, just
waiting
3 goddesses
your hooped
genius gyrates
(an orbiting raven)
the fall is promised, but not the
harvest
your math
keeps me alive
inside my skin – can it
keep me alive outside of it?
how long?
your thought’s
of a quantum
computer, the shape of
a universe, an emergent
structure
four paths
what i crave to say
pulls my gut down
like a goat-bladder
full of smooth river stones
(it could be that your
song requires you
build a new instrument
or sing in an old tongue)
“either conceivable way –
if nothing exists, no one
could comment on whether
that were true,” she said
what i hunger to hear
tears me exquarto
across the corners of terra
but i can’t find the poles
orison
remixing molecules
into solutions for
nonmelodic maladies
meditating on light
and rewriting programs
into hunter-gatherer modes
gathering code for ontos
and for logos and for gnosis
and for fun
hunting the living meat
of the river dweller
and giving back for thanks
my brain full of good fat
will burn like a little lamp
for all mammalkind
i share this pain with you,
and this pan with you,
and this matter, mater
to certainty
sophie
lacking
omnipotence,
the maker’s own power
can undo itself but not to
nonbeing
(being
so fatally unobserved stops
phi from conquering death,
yet death
can’t quell
raw consciousness)
so death, lacking all-might,
concedes to matter’s meaningless
daydreams
scissors
a death
god looks me up
using the internet,
but divine distraction attracts
its gaze
toward
more grisly matters in the east.
encoded in the web,
my fate between
scissors
⨀ 