autonomia

when we kissed
you tongued your gum
to me so i wouldn’t chew
my cheeks bloody and
already, both our jaws
were starting to throb
(but not from the medicine)
my neurotransmitters had
already converted me to
a hard determinist, but when
the drugs receded mercilessly
up your spine, it almost
triggered tears to watch you
realize this happiness wasn’t
your creation, your pupils tightening
around the last of the synthetic
bliss, your mood melting between
my fingers and into the ice cream
sunset, your sense of free will
evaporating and the geometries
underneath your choices exposed
like a femur breaking through skin
when we kissed
we absolutely had to kiss
like the perseids had to burn

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